Requirements of a SAHM

Brief Description:
When a mother decides to forgo a job for pay to stay at home with her child(ren) for other compensation(described below).

Duties Include (But Are Not Limited To):
-Feedings
-Burpings
-Diaper Changes
-Clothing Changes
-Baths
-Dishes
-Laundry
-Tummy Time
-Story Time
-Play Time
-Walks

Additional Duties (Extra Compensation):
-Baby may soil multiple diapers/clothes and extra baths/laundry is required
-Baby may fight naps and thus be cranky all day due to being overtired
-Baby may be sick and therefore extremely cranky

Requirements Include (But Are Not Limited To):
-Being a female in child bearing years (Yes, this is a sexist job...get over it!)
-Be willing to gain 20+ pounds over the course of 9 months
-Posses zombie like qualities that allow you to go months without a decent nights sleep
-Fluent in Baby Talk
-Multi-tasker
-Patience
-Willing to work nights and weekends

Compensation:
-Coffee

Compensation for Additional Duties:
-Wine

*Compensation increases based on number of children in your care.

Benefits:
-Baby smiles and laughter
-Enjoyment from baby's milestones
-Unconditional love

*Please note this job is Mon-Sun. Does not include breaks, overtime pay, holidays, or vacations.