To Work or Not to Work

Hi!!! Sorry I have been on sabbatical lately. It was purely unintentional and I am finally finding time and inspiration to write.  :)  Now on to my post about having a family and a job....

I was fortunate enough to work for a company that offered 12 weeks PAID (GASP!) maternity leave. I was able to tack on vacation time as well and take an additional unpaid leave to get me through the holidays. Mark and I decided it would be best for our family if I went back to work part time after the New Year. Mark works from home, so this seemed like the perfect situation--he would watch Michelle while I was at work and I would take over when I got home. Little did we know there were some flaws with our "perfect" situation.

I began to resent my situation because I would be gone at work for 4-6 hours and then come home and immediately start my other "job." I love love love being a mommy, but I never felt I had a break between my job out of the house and my job at home. Michelle also became much more demanding and was wanting a lot of attention. Mark was beginning to be unable to get anything done while I was at work. We had decided prior to starting a family that it was important to us to raise our children and avoid daycare at all costs. I am all for daycare for those that need it (and there are many benefits), but we felt it best for our family to not do daycare. After what felt like a week of hades, I came home one Saturday from work to Mark making me lunch and being very sweet (we had been in a little tiff earlier that morning). He proceeded to sit me down and asked me to quit work (Hallelujah!!!). He said he understood that I was not happy and he was not able to focus on his work.

Shortly after I had quit my job, my sister-in-law (LOVE YOU!) approached me about being her Client Coordinator for her makeup business. I was thrilled and I love what I do now. I essentially do all of the communication with the bride from the time of booking services to her wedding day. I am kept very busy and I don't have to leave my baby girl to get work done. She has an amazing business and you should take a tour of her new website at http://www.austinweddingmakeup.com/.

I have always been an independent person and quitting my job was more difficult than I had anticipated. I have worked since I was 16 and the idea of not bringing money into the household scared me. Mark tells me all the time to stop worrying so much and that we are perfectly fine. So I finally let it go, and you know what makes our new situation feasible? BUDGET, BUDGET, BUDGET! I cannot stress this enough. We sat down and created a budget that would provide for our family and still allow for nights out, savings, etc. What tool do I use to help keep us on track? http://www.mint.com/. Free and awesome! So this may not be what works for every family, but it's what works for us and I could not be happier!

Requirements of a SAHM

Brief Description:
When a mother decides to forgo a job for pay to stay at home with her child(ren) for other compensation(described below).

Duties Include (But Are Not Limited To):
-Feedings
-Burpings
-Diaper Changes
-Clothing Changes
-Baths
-Dishes
-Laundry
-Tummy Time
-Story Time
-Play Time
-Walks

Additional Duties (Extra Compensation):
-Baby may soil multiple diapers/clothes and extra baths/laundry is required
-Baby may fight naps and thus be cranky all day due to being overtired
-Baby may be sick and therefore extremely cranky

Requirements Include (But Are Not Limited To):
-Being a female in child bearing years (Yes, this is a sexist job...get over it!)
-Be willing to gain 20+ pounds over the course of 9 months
-Posses zombie like qualities that allow you to go months without a decent nights sleep
-Fluent in Baby Talk
-Multi-tasker
-Patience
-Willing to work nights and weekends

Compensation:
-Coffee

Compensation for Additional Duties:
-Wine

*Compensation increases based on number of children in your care.

Benefits:
-Baby smiles and laughter
-Enjoyment from baby's milestones
-Unconditional love

*Please note this job is Mon-Sun. Does not include breaks, overtime pay, holidays, or vacations.

Little Baby Milestones

So there's all these books, doctors, magazines, etc. that say what your baby should be doing by a certain age. I freaked out when Michelle had not mastered rolling tummy to back by 4 months, but could roll back to tummy. I was sad that she was getting tummy time (very important!!!), but not holding her head up for a long time. I looked at other babies her age that could do more than her and I was worried. You know what...I feel like she won't slow down now! When she decides to reach another milestone, it's not like an Oops..how did I do that? It's a...YES! I figured it out and I am going to do it all the time. She never built up to rolling tummy to back...she finally did it one day and was like...Look at me mom! I am an expert at this. Now tummy time is so difficult! I can't keep the monkey on her tummy.

Of course they need help from you to reach these milestones! She sits up all by herself thanks to her Bumbo seat (I highly recommend!) and sitting her on the floor for some trial and error. She didn't mind falling thank goodness. We did tummy time a lot, but she was not very tolerable of it. One thing that hepled immensely with learning to roll tummy to back and lifting her head was Mark and I's decision to have her sleep on her tummy. The American Academy of Pediatrics started a Back To Sleep campaign in the 90's due to an increased incidence of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). It encourages all parents to place their babies on their backs to sleep. We did this for 4 months and when we decided to place Michelle on her tummy, we had our reasons and we were confident in our decision. We did a lot of research on SIDS and there are many other reasons involved that can lead to SIDS (smoking around the baby, blankets in cribs, etc). We started with just naps on her tummy so we could keep a close eye on her and then transitioned into nighttime on her tummy. Now she loves to sleep on her tummy!

So, when it comes to your baby's milestones just remember to not freak out about what other babies his or her age are doing or what the books say. As long as your baby is healthy, he or she will reach their own milestones when they are ready!

Michelle sitting up all on her own (thanks to her Bumbo seat)!

Losing It

...The hair and weight that is.

First off, the hair. It is unreal the amount of hair you shed after having a baby. Here I am 7 months postpartum and still losing hair like crazy. So now I am not only growing hair like crazy from prenatal vitamins (yes...very important to take while still breastfeeding), but shedding it just as quickly. Your hormones can do some pretty crazy things. I think I have swept up enough hair to make a wig! So stock up on some Drano and a good broom now!

Now for the weight. Want to have the most weightloss ever in 1 day? Have a baby! From checking into the hospital to arriving home I'd lost 15 pounds! I am very fortunate that the pounds have melted off me since then. Some women find it very easy to lose the baby weight and for others it is more difficult. A few things that have worked for me are breastfeeding (probably the number 1 thing!...and I plan to until Michelle is 1 year old...did you know it burns up to 500 calories a day?! Heck yes...sign me up!), moderate exercise, and a healthy diet (and of course Michelle keeps me pretty busy). I am actually 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight! The issue I am having now is actually keeping weight on. I know...I shouldn't be complaining, but I told my hubby the other day I either needed to get my jeans taken in or it was time for a new wardrobe. But, I do remember being very self conscious the first couple months after Michelle was born. Come to find out, it's pretty normal. I kept reminding myself it just takes time and I had received the best reward...a beautiful baby girl. Just be careful...as soon as I got the green light from my OB to pick up my workout routine, I was back in the gym full force. BAD IDEA. I was in so much pain and had a few other complications that kept me from getting back into the gym for another few weeks. I then realized I needed to get back into things gradually and carefully. This is when I decided to set realistic goals for myself and have a workout buddy. So keep your head up! The weight will come off...gradually and healthily.  



6 1/2 months post baby. About to enjoy a night out with the hubby and friends!



I'm Supposed to Take Her Home Now?

A Mommy's definition of HARD: A lack of describing how difficult those first few weeks postpartum are.
A Mommy's definition of TIRED: A lack of describing the pure exhaustion you feel the first few weeks postpartum.
These 2 words have absolutely no meaning to me anymore!

First week home from hospital taking a nap in her swing

While you are pregnant, you think about having your baby, what your baby will look like, and many other things. What you rarely think about, until it happens, is bringing your baby home for the first time and being without nurses and doctors to answer all of your questions. The fear that encompasses a new mom is unimaginable those first few weeks postpartum. You are constantly thinking, "Is she hungry? Is she still breathing? Is she sleeping too much? Too little? Is it too cold? Too warm? Etc..." But once you get the hang of it, a routine sets in place and things become much easier.
The first few weeks postpartum, I had many mood swings; Your hormones are soo out of balance and you can cry for any reason at all (as if you actually need a reason!). I remember rocking Michelle in her room while feeding her and just crying. Why? I don't know. I remember wanting so badly to be pregnant again. I truly missed it and I never though I would. I had constant neck pain from looking down at her and constant back pain from standing and leaning over to change her. And the headaches! Ouch! When your hormone levels are off the charts combined with no sleep whatsoever, you get the most painful headaches. And while breastfeeding, you're limited to Tylenol. I also had a clogged milk duct=low grade fever and achiness. NO FUN and super PAINFUL! I had also heard about some mom's getting spinal headaches and soreness where they'd received their epidural. I was so thankful at that point that I did not have an epidural because I don't think I could have handled much more. On top of all this, your body has just gone through labor and delivery! A huge thing! So, your body is trying to recuperate, but it is very difficult while getting no sleep!

Car ride home from hospital

Yes....I was one of those mom's the first few weeks that charted everything Michelle did. When she last ate, peed, pooped, slept. It felt like I had things a little bit under control that way. One day Mark just grabbed the chart and threw it away. I was upset at first, and then over the next few days I became much more relaxed. Doctors say your baby needs to wet their diaper 6-8 times a day while newborns (so you know they are drinking enough). I was so terrified the day Michelle only wet 5 diapers. But you know what!? Babies can pee twice in one diaper...so how did I really know? The lack of the chart was the best thing that could have happened. And the baby poo...oh-my-goodness. I can't tell you how many times I had to start laundry at 2 AM because Michelle had exploded all over her crib, clothes and me! Not funny at the time, but looking back, it is hilarious!

So, while this may be enough to make you say, "Wait, am I really ready for this?" No one is ever ready. But, the joy of having a child is the best thing in the world. While those first few weeks (or even months) may be difficult, it is truly worth it.

Daddy and Michelle first week home

The Dilemma of the Nursery Furniture

We thought we had planned plenty in advance with our nursery furniture. My wonderful in-laws had offered to buy Michelle's nursery furniture. So come May, once finding out the sex of the baby, we headed off to furniture boutiques. We landed at USA Baby and found the perfect set. The manufacturer was running 3 1/2-4 months in wait time; Cutting it close, but doable. About 3 1/2 weeks before my due date, Mark (wonderful hubby) had called USA Baby to follow up with our order. It was scheduled to arrive any day. A couple of days later my sister-in-law calls me and lets me know she saw something on the news about USA Baby closing their doors and many people being out their money and their purchase. What the %&$#@*! Yup...the owner had locked his doors and cut off the phone lines. I was devastated. I called Mark from work in tears. I could not bear the thought of Michelle arriving so soon and having NO furniture. Granted she slept in our room the first couple months, but when you are preggers and your hormones are raging, you go through a crazy nesting phase and everything MUST be perfect before baby arrives.

Crib and part of dresser

Mark assures me he would do everything possible to get the situation resolved. After many attempts to contact the owner, we realize it's hopeless and we must buy new furniture. Fortunately, my in-laws were able to get their money back from their bank and we found an amazing furniture manager at Buy Buy Baby. We found our new perfect set and wanted it! The manufacturer was running 4 months wait time.  :(   The manager said she was very low on stocked inventory due to the USA Baby situation and found out we were a part of that. She got our information and said she would call us if the furniture we wanted was available at their Dallas store. A few days later we received the best news I could have hoped for. The set and the color we wanted was on its way to us! Lesson learned...the stress is not worth it. Everything has a way of working itself out! 

Dresser, Rocking Chair, and Armoire

Pregnancy

So I have to say, being pregnant rocked. There is no other time in your life when you can be a little "big" and it's cute, eat as much as you please and not feel bad about it, and enjoy a mood swing here and there, all the while knowing you are growing a life inside of you. In the beginning it is hard-the nausea and sometimes sickness that is overhwelming and you are not even showing a little bit! If anything, you may be losing weight! But you will never forget the first time a stranger realizes you are pregnant. Oh, the joy! And the amazing boss who will go to the store and buy you your daily craving...Cheeze-Its in my case! Or the husband who will indulge in your everyday must have. For instance, my last trimester I HAD to have bean and cheese tacos. I literally could not get enough of them. I would leave work and call my husband for him to answer and say, "I'll meet you there." I didn't even have to say hello.
The most amazing part of pregnancy though, are the little, or sometimes not so little, kicks and punches. Your little one wants to make sure you know they are going to be a handful. And the hiccups...ha! You can actually feel them hiccuping inside you! The weirdest feeling EVER!

8 Months Pregnant (in August...in Texas...UGH!)

The first week after Michelle was born was very bittersweet. I loved every minute of her being in this world, but I truly missed being pregnant. I wished for the kicks, punches, and quietness (especially at the midnight, 2 AM, and 4 AM feeding sessions). So...note to those pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant, enjoy every minute of it. AND...document it! Take pictures all of the time and do a pregnancy photo shoot. The pregnancy is so short and the pictures are a wonderful reminder of how amazing your body is!

6 Months pregnant in Costa Rica...my "babymoon"

First Blog Post

Well...I have finally started my blog. I am a new stay at home mom and knew I wanted to start a blog for those who are thinking about starting their family, already pregnant, or have children. Your world changes entirely the moment you find our you're pregnant. The purpose of my blog is to help inform and to help me keep my sanity! I love to write and share stories and opinions. Within my blog you will find pages about baby and mother product reviews, my birth story and different birthing options, as well as a hot topics page. Enjoy!

My little monkey at almost 3 months old!